Happy New Year 2019 - and remember: Life loves you!
This morning it was still dark at 8 a.m. when I was awakened by the sound of Monty shuffling around on the wooden floors. His legs are stiff with age and he tends to slide around as if he were on ice, poor thing. Most of his life was lived on fitted carpets and now, in his old age, he is having to get used to something new.
I groaned at the realization that it was already time to get up and feed him and take him outside. Today is the first day of a new year, 2019. Having got to bed at 2:15 a.m. after a wonderful dinner party and midnight fireworks at the home of my cousin Henrik and his wife Inger, I was none to pleased to be roused from sleep. Then I remembered that I had been awoken at around 3 a.m. by Monty whining to go out. My fault, since I had left him sleeping when I returned from the New Year's Eve festivities rather than rouse him to give him a chance to pee. I dressed hurriedly and became increasingly grumpy as I fumbled about for coat, hat, scarf, gloves and boots before daring to step outside. Having been in balmy England where it was about the same temperature as San Francisco for two weeks, even 0 degrees centigrade with wind feels very cold to me right now.
Once outside Monty just stood there sniffing. First the air and then the ground. Impervious to my attempts to chivvy him along he continued to deeply inhale the scents emanating from the earth, to which I was both impervious and indifferent. Impatiently I stood there while half-heartedly trying every now and then to pull him along. But he would not budge. A New Year's Day reality was hitting me in the face in the form of a cold wind and a stubborn, old dog.
I stood there being blasted by the wind from across the bay and becoming increasingly irritated. I found myself asking "What are you even doing here?" I stared around me at the bare trees and empty houses. My closest neighbours are only here on occasional weekends in the winter and the deserted homes and Joel's green plastic slide in the winter garden seemed somehow tragic.
I thought of the long, winding, pot-holed road that leads here from the longer and also winding main road into Söderköping and the long commute that awaits me when I begin my new job at Klingsborgsskolan in Norrköping next Monday.
I thought of last New Year's Eve spent in tame little England with my brother Martin and his wife Patsy. Of waking in their cozy home. Of white, fluffy towels, and a delicious breakfast of scrambled eggs and mushrooms, cooked by Martin. Before I knew it I was thinking of my other cousin Bodil and her husband Per, who had so kindly taken Monty into their home over the past two weeks while I was away. How delightful, well cared-for and beautiful their home was, how lucky they were to have each other.
Then, the inevitable next thought: Why was I alone? What had I done to deserve being single and lonely at this time in my life? Why hadn't I married someone like my brother or my cousin? Was I doomed to always make bad choices when it came to partners? Would I ever even meet someone who I could imagine having a relationship with living out here in the wilds of Sweden? Or would I remain alone for the rest of my days, like my mother...
All these thoughts had passed through my mind like the colored sparks emanating from last night's rockets, one set off by the other. Unstoppable, inevitable. Monty and I hadn't even made it back to the front door, and we had only walked around the house! That's how fast our thoughts can do their damage. By the time I got back in the house I was officially annoyed and self-critical.
I tried to light the fire and it wouldn't catch. I lit the candle Patsy gave me for Christmas, the scent is called "First Light." It' didn't help. I made myself the smoothie I know is good for me, even though what I really wanted was a cup of coffee. I know that my body does well on a raw food start to the day. At least I made myself do that. I flicked open Face Book.
One of my notifications, among the many lovely New Year greetings that in my current state of mind were met by indifference, was a short film by Robert Holden who worked with Louise Hay before she died and who is still deeply inspired by her and keeps her legacy alive. I knew his take on the world had profoundly moved me in the past and so I listened to what he had to say.
In his understated way he spoke some of Louise Hay's affirmations aloud. They are both profound and very simple:
I love Life, and Life loves me
"Yeah right," I found myself thinking.
Then he said:
This is my love story. I only choose thoughts that create a wonderful future, and move into it now. My heart is opening wider and wider. Love flows from and too me in ever-increasing amounts.
Looking across the room at Monty, I saw his eyes were fixed on me. I sighed and walked over and patted him on the head. Such as sweetie, he didn't deserve my impatience. I went back to the fireplace and rearranged the logs, placing some newspaper behind them, and lit the fire again.
Then Robert Holden continued:
Unconditional love and acceptance are the greatest gifts I can give and receive–and I give them to myself now.
"Oh," I thought, "How about if I actually did give myself unconditional love and acceptance right now? Then what? Would it change anything?"
Robert continued:
I am learning the secrets of Life. It is actually all very simple: The more I love myself, the more I feel Life loving me. The more I love myself, the healthier I am. The more I love myself the more enjoyable my life gets.
I could feel my spirits begin to lift and as I looked outside so did the clouds. They were blowing away across the water of the bay. He continued:
I give myself the green light to go ahead, and I joyously embrace my new loving habits of food and thoughts. The more I nourish myself the more I am grateful to be alive.
I drank my blueberry and spinach smoothie. Followed by a cup of tea and a cheese sandwich with sliced red pepper on it.
It is my joy and pleasure to live another wonderful day.
Every person on this planet is interconnected with love, and it starts with me loving myself.
Wow, mind-blowing thought! Me loving myself means I love others more, domino effect...
I send loving thoughts to all. Love and forgiveness heals me and heals us all. My life is balanced and my immunity is strong. I am healthy, whole, and healed. I love Life and Life loves me.
The fire is now blazing, and the sun is actually shining. It is a new day. It is a New Year. I sit down to write my first blog post of 2019. Let's be very kind to ourselves and each other this year.
Happy New Year! Prospero Año! Gott Nytt År!
I groaned at the realization that it was already time to get up and feed him and take him outside. Today is the first day of a new year, 2019. Having got to bed at 2:15 a.m. after a wonderful dinner party and midnight fireworks at the home of my cousin Henrik and his wife Inger, I was none to pleased to be roused from sleep. Then I remembered that I had been awoken at around 3 a.m. by Monty whining to go out. My fault, since I had left him sleeping when I returned from the New Year's Eve festivities rather than rouse him to give him a chance to pee. I dressed hurriedly and became increasingly grumpy as I fumbled about for coat, hat, scarf, gloves and boots before daring to step outside. Having been in balmy England where it was about the same temperature as San Francisco for two weeks, even 0 degrees centigrade with wind feels very cold to me right now.
Once outside Monty just stood there sniffing. First the air and then the ground. Impervious to my attempts to chivvy him along he continued to deeply inhale the scents emanating from the earth, to which I was both impervious and indifferent. Impatiently I stood there while half-heartedly trying every now and then to pull him along. But he would not budge. A New Year's Day reality was hitting me in the face in the form of a cold wind and a stubborn, old dog.
I stood there being blasted by the wind from across the bay and becoming increasingly irritated. I found myself asking "What are you even doing here?" I stared around me at the bare trees and empty houses. My closest neighbours are only here on occasional weekends in the winter and the deserted homes and Joel's green plastic slide in the winter garden seemed somehow tragic.
I thought of the long, winding, pot-holed road that leads here from the longer and also winding main road into Söderköping and the long commute that awaits me when I begin my new job at Klingsborgsskolan in Norrköping next Monday.
I thought of last New Year's Eve spent in tame little England with my brother Martin and his wife Patsy. Of waking in their cozy home. Of white, fluffy towels, and a delicious breakfast of scrambled eggs and mushrooms, cooked by Martin. Before I knew it I was thinking of my other cousin Bodil and her husband Per, who had so kindly taken Monty into their home over the past two weeks while I was away. How delightful, well cared-for and beautiful their home was, how lucky they were to have each other.
Then, the inevitable next thought: Why was I alone? What had I done to deserve being single and lonely at this time in my life? Why hadn't I married someone like my brother or my cousin? Was I doomed to always make bad choices when it came to partners? Would I ever even meet someone who I could imagine having a relationship with living out here in the wilds of Sweden? Or would I remain alone for the rest of my days, like my mother...
All these thoughts had passed through my mind like the colored sparks emanating from last night's rockets, one set off by the other. Unstoppable, inevitable. Monty and I hadn't even made it back to the front door, and we had only walked around the house! That's how fast our thoughts can do their damage. By the time I got back in the house I was officially annoyed and self-critical.
I tried to light the fire and it wouldn't catch. I lit the candle Patsy gave me for Christmas, the scent is called "First Light." It' didn't help. I made myself the smoothie I know is good for me, even though what I really wanted was a cup of coffee. I know that my body does well on a raw food start to the day. At least I made myself do that. I flicked open Face Book.
One of my notifications, among the many lovely New Year greetings that in my current state of mind were met by indifference, was a short film by Robert Holden who worked with Louise Hay before she died and who is still deeply inspired by her and keeps her legacy alive. I knew his take on the world had profoundly moved me in the past and so I listened to what he had to say.
In his understated way he spoke some of Louise Hay's affirmations aloud. They are both profound and very simple:
I love Life, and Life loves me
"Yeah right," I found myself thinking.
Then he said:
This is my love story. I only choose thoughts that create a wonderful future, and move into it now. My heart is opening wider and wider. Love flows from and too me in ever-increasing amounts.
Looking across the room at Monty, I saw his eyes were fixed on me. I sighed and walked over and patted him on the head. Such as sweetie, he didn't deserve my impatience. I went back to the fireplace and rearranged the logs, placing some newspaper behind them, and lit the fire again.
Then Robert Holden continued:
Unconditional love and acceptance are the greatest gifts I can give and receive–and I give them to myself now.
"Oh," I thought, "How about if I actually did give myself unconditional love and acceptance right now? Then what? Would it change anything?"
Robert continued:
I am learning the secrets of Life. It is actually all very simple: The more I love myself, the more I feel Life loving me. The more I love myself, the healthier I am. The more I love myself the more enjoyable my life gets.
I could feel my spirits begin to lift and as I looked outside so did the clouds. They were blowing away across the water of the bay. He continued:
I give myself the green light to go ahead, and I joyously embrace my new loving habits of food and thoughts. The more I nourish myself the more I am grateful to be alive.
I drank my blueberry and spinach smoothie. Followed by a cup of tea and a cheese sandwich with sliced red pepper on it.
It is my joy and pleasure to live another wonderful day.
Every person on this planet is interconnected with love, and it starts with me loving myself.
Wow, mind-blowing thought! Me loving myself means I love others more, domino effect...
I send loving thoughts to all. Love and forgiveness heals me and heals us all. My life is balanced and my immunity is strong. I am healthy, whole, and healed. I love Life and Life loves me.
The fire is now blazing, and the sun is actually shining. It is a new day. It is a New Year. I sit down to write my first blog post of 2019. Let's be very kind to ourselves and each other this year.
Happy New Year! Prospero Año! Gott Nytt År!
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