Darkness
As I sit down to write today's post it is 16:40 and completely dark outside. The fire is blazing, I'm getting through a lot of wood! As I light a candle I see a mummified moth has drowned in wax and inadvertently created an encaustic artwork:
Like the moth I am drawn to the light and miss the sun today, it has been darker than any day so far and there has been little color outside. The water, islands and sky were shifting in shades of grey before they finally disappeared under a cloak of darkness. The flag was flapping in the wind so loudly against the pole that I adjusted it before the last of the light faded for this day.
This morning I started work at 6:45 a.m. and left home at 6:30. It was dark of course. I used my motor värmare for the first time and it worked a treat so the car was nice and warm when I got into it even though it is parked outside. I had set the timer last night. This will come in handy when it gets colder. Today the temperature was hovering above zero degrees centigrade, so not really very cold, but the wind was bitter. Here is a picture of my thermometer at 16:20 this afternoon:
All of this is really normal for anyone who lives in Sweden. But for me it's strange after twenty years in mid-coast California. Today in the playground the icy wind whipped around the corner of the school and nipped at any piece of exposed skin. My chin was cold so I wrapped my scarf around it to cover any gap between the back of my hat and my coat collar. Meanwhile the 5 and 6-year old children sat outside happily eating fruit! I was grateful when a few of the girls wanted to shoot baskets with me, moving around was better than standing still! Luckily I had watched a match between Norrköping's Women's Youth Dolphins basketball team on Friday night. My cousin's daughter is on the team and they are amazingly good!
https://dolphins.se/lagen/damer-elit/dolphins-damer-3525201
I found myself recalling the way they positioned themselves to shoot a penalty and amazingly the ball hit the rectangle and fell through the net first time I tried! I've never been into basketball but now it was keeping me warm and the children were enjoying it too. One of the things I like so far about the Swedish schools where I am working as a substitute teacher assistant is that the children spend a lot of time outside, regardless of the weather. They make the most of the light and the fresh air. I always thought it was strange that some Californian schools actually had dark tinted windows on the classrooms, keeping the light out. Too much of it, too bright.
On this dark Monday early evening I look forward to going to choir practice. I know that once I'm there with the others singing I will come to life again. One of the songs is a choral arrangement of Swedish musician Avicii's Wake me up. I was so sad when he died by suicide at the age of 28 in 2018. His face always reminded me of his mother, a Swedish actress who I had seen play the lovely little girl in Lars Hallström's film "Mitt Liv Som Hund," "My Life As a Dog," based on the beautiful but sad novel by Reidar Jönsson that we had read in Swedish Literature classes at UCL in the early 1980's. Tragic that in the year of his saturn return Tim Bergling could not face the inner darkness. A miracle that his light shines on through his music:
Like the moth I am drawn to the light and miss the sun today, it has been darker than any day so far and there has been little color outside. The water, islands and sky were shifting in shades of grey before they finally disappeared under a cloak of darkness. The flag was flapping in the wind so loudly against the pole that I adjusted it before the last of the light faded for this day.
This morning I started work at 6:45 a.m. and left home at 6:30. It was dark of course. I used my motor värmare for the first time and it worked a treat so the car was nice and warm when I got into it even though it is parked outside. I had set the timer last night. This will come in handy when it gets colder. Today the temperature was hovering above zero degrees centigrade, so not really very cold, but the wind was bitter. Here is a picture of my thermometer at 16:20 this afternoon:
All of this is really normal for anyone who lives in Sweden. But for me it's strange after twenty years in mid-coast California. Today in the playground the icy wind whipped around the corner of the school and nipped at any piece of exposed skin. My chin was cold so I wrapped my scarf around it to cover any gap between the back of my hat and my coat collar. Meanwhile the 5 and 6-year old children sat outside happily eating fruit! I was grateful when a few of the girls wanted to shoot baskets with me, moving around was better than standing still! Luckily I had watched a match between Norrköping's Women's Youth Dolphins basketball team on Friday night. My cousin's daughter is on the team and they are amazingly good!
https://dolphins.se/lagen/damer-elit/dolphins-damer-3525201
I found myself recalling the way they positioned themselves to shoot a penalty and amazingly the ball hit the rectangle and fell through the net first time I tried! I've never been into basketball but now it was keeping me warm and the children were enjoying it too. One of the things I like so far about the Swedish schools where I am working as a substitute teacher assistant is that the children spend a lot of time outside, regardless of the weather. They make the most of the light and the fresh air. I always thought it was strange that some Californian schools actually had dark tinted windows on the classrooms, keeping the light out. Too much of it, too bright.
On this dark Monday early evening I look forward to going to choir practice. I know that once I'm there with the others singing I will come to life again. One of the songs is a choral arrangement of Swedish musician Avicii's Wake me up. I was so sad when he died by suicide at the age of 28 in 2018. His face always reminded me of his mother, a Swedish actress who I had seen play the lovely little girl in Lars Hallström's film "Mitt Liv Som Hund," "My Life As a Dog," based on the beautiful but sad novel by Reidar Jönsson that we had read in Swedish Literature classes at UCL in the early 1980's. Tragic that in the year of his saturn return Tim Bergling could not face the inner darkness. A miracle that his light shines on through his music:
Feeling my way through the darkness
Guided by a beating heart
I can't tell where the journey will end
But I know where to start
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